Two hands hold a small hamster. Image sourced online from the BeChewy article, “How To Hold And Handle A Hamster.”

Content warning: discussion of animal death, some detailed

Hamsters are cute, but their life should not be left in the charge of a small child. Hamsters somehow figure out how to die in the most absurd–sometimes even funny–ways. These tiny, frail creatures at times die in almost strangely surreal fashions. It’s almost cartoonish. An anonymous student said, “My brother’s [hamster] died when it bit his finger and he accidentally flung it to the ceiling fan.” Why is this funny?

Is our laughter a coping mechanism? People tend to cope with trauma by using comedy. It’s why dark humor is so popular. When an anonymous teacher was 16, their brother was playing catch with his hamster… with an exercise ball. The hamster died. They and their brother were both saddened, but now find it funny. This could be a form of coping, but even people who never had a hamster find it funny. Hamster death isn’t exactly traumatic for kids who experienced it. They usually cry, are sad for a few days, and then move on. Needing to cope for such an insignificant spot in one’s childhood doesn’t explain this phenomenon, much less make sense.

It could be the absurdity of the scenarios. A hamster dying by itself isn’t funny, but it’s the scenario. An anonymous student said that their “[brother] took it on vacation with him and it drowned in the ocean.” Librarian Megan Andersen said, “My hamster got out of his cage and we found him under a pile of clothes. He was not alive anymore.” Now the comedy of hamsters dying isn’t inherently based on the scenario, as even some mundane hamster deaths are funny. An anonymous student said that they “put him in a little hamster ball and set him down on a table to go grab something. He decided to roll off and went into shock when he hit the ground and died.” The scenario is pretty normal, but it’s still funny. 

When History Teacher Stephanie Kelley’s brother was eight years old, his hamster escaped the cage and went into the heating vent. Kelley said that “he was super sad for a few days…and then just moved on.” Sophomore Mack Eblen said that one of his hamsters jumped off the kitchen counter and another chewed on wires and got caught in a fire. Eblen said that he “cried I guess.” This hamster died and it was heartbreaking at the time for him, but now he’s simply apathetic. It could be the reaction of children making it funny. But again, that isn’t a catch-all; hamster death is funny regardless of your experiences.

Freshman Kiah Rassmussen “had two rats and the one rat ate the other one and ripped her stomach open.” This is a little… less funny. My guess is that it’s because rats aren’t as cute as hamsters. If the same thing happened with hamsters, it’d be the funniest thing on Earth. But with rats, it’s just weird- and gross. My hypothesis is that for a pet’s death to be funny, it has to be macabre, funny, and the critter has to be cute. Cute in the sense of “there is not a single thought behind those eyes,” kind of way. The hamster is so unbelievably stupid and it somehow found out how to die in a way as stupid as it is.

Don’t feel bad for finding their death funny. Hamsters dying is funny, and that’s okay. Regardless, it’s important to make sure other hamsters don’t meet a similar fate. Every hamster dies, but a hamster living its life to the fullest is sadly a rarity. Art teacher Mrs. Herrick-Williams said her pet hamster died of old age, and she was the only one who’s hamster didn’t die early. They may be cute, but they are immensely fragile and can die *very* easily. Information on caring for a hamster can be found here, as well as medical needs, diet, housing, and most importantly, handling your hamster.