The Worst

February 18, 2020

  1. Licorice: Any form of this disgusting rope-like “candy” is repulsive. Whether it’s red or black licorice, I find myself cringing away from its taste and texture. It’s as if cough syrup took a solid form and someone decided to sell it to children after adding a small amount of sugar. Even the smell of these wretched strings is enough to make my stomach sick.
  2. Almond Joy: This pick is mostly stemmed from my hatred of coconut in any form. Hershey’s really dropped the ball on this one. Instead of the delightful, sugar-filled form most of their products seem to take, this is essentially just chocolate-covered coconut with almonds on top. It’s betrayal in its raw form. Anyone who enjoys such a sweet has automatically ascended past this mortal plain.
  3. Sweethearts: While the concept is cute, these chalky hearts of sheer sadness taste absolutely horrid. Many people bestow these sweets to their loves or crushes around Valentine’s Day, unable to process the fact that they taste like stale air. I’d recommend sending your significant other chocolates or Hershey’s Kisses, instead of a diluted Fun Dip stick that says “Say Yes.”
  4. Starbursts: While some flavors of this Laffy Taffy wannabe can be mediocre, most of the time you’re left with pink and red ones while being extremely dissatisfied that such a small thing was your reward for winning a Kahoot. It’s like winning the Olympics and getting a Tootsie Roll as a prize. The sheer disappointment these bring earn it a spot on my worst-candies list.
  5. Candy Corn: This is more in the middle of best and worst candies for me. While they can be delicious is small quantities, after eating a bunch of them, I find myself sick at the thought of eating more. Despite being colorful, their taste is lackluster at best, and mostly can just be used for stress eating. Either way, this candy is a staple when it comes to fall and Halloween, but that doesn’t mean it stops tasting like flavored erasers.
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