With Halloween come and gone, here's the five best and five worst candies money can buy.
November 1, 2019
As a self-certified sugar addict, I have a lot of opinions when it comes to candy. As such, it’s extremely hard for me to list them in any specific order. Not to mention, there’s an extremely large variety when it comes to these sweets. With so many options and such a small amount of space to fill, I’ll try to stick to more popular brands of candy. This way, everyone should know what candies I’m talking about without having to refer to Google.
- Licorice: Any form of this disgusting rope-like “candy” is repulsive. Whether it’s red or black licorice, I find myself cringing away from its taste and texture. It’s as if cough syrup took a solid form and someone decided to sell it to children after adding a small amount of sugar. Even the smell of these wretched strings is enough to make my stomach sick.
- Almond Joy: This pick is mostly stemmed from my hatred of coconut in any form. Hershey’s really dropped the ball on this one. Instead of the delightful, sugar-filled form most of their products seem to take, this is essentially just chocolate-covered coconut with almonds on top. It’s betrayal in its raw form. Anyone who enjoys such a sweet has automatically ascended past this mortal plain.
- Sweethearts: While the concept is cute, these chalky hearts of sheer sadness taste absolutely horrid. Many people bestow these sweets to their loves or crushes around Valentine’s Day, unable to process the fact that they taste like stale air. I’d recommend sending your significant other chocolates or Hershey’s Kisses, instead of a diluted Fun Dip stick that says “Say Yes.”
- Starbursts: While some flavors of this Laffy Taffy wannabe can be mediocre, most of the time you’re left with pink and red ones while being extremely dissatisfied that such a small thing was your reward for winning a Kahoot. It’s like winning the Olympics and getting a Tootsie Roll as a prize. The sheer disappointment these bring earn it a spot on my worst-candies list.
- Candy Corn: This is more in the middle of best and worst candies for me. While they can be delicious is small quantities, after eating a bunch of them, I find myself sick at the thought of eating more. Despite being colorful, their taste is lackluster at best, and mostly can just be used for stress eating. Either way, this candy is a staple when it comes to fall and Halloween, but that doesn’t mean it stops tasting like flavored erasers.
- Hershey’s Chocolate Bars: These candies come in many varieties, such as Milk Chocolate, Dark Chocolate, Light Chocolate, and more. There’s all kinds of chocolate for any kind of person. From sweet to bitter, these candies definitely top the list. The giving of chocolate is often deemed a romantic action as well, giving this candy many uses aside from consumption.
- Skittles: Skittles are the embodiment of my soul. These rainbow, sugar-filled circles are the upgraded form of M&M’s. Full of vibrant colors and leaving a taste of delicious goodness, these sweet candies often leave one satisfied with the amount graciously bestowed in each package. The various flavors also provide variety between each bite.
- Snickers: This is the successful brother of Almond Joy that actually gets invited to go places. Created by the company Mars, this rich delight consists of nougat, caramel, and peanuts stacked on top of each other and coated in chocolate. While not the best, they’re definitely far from the worst candy to exist. It’s like a pleasant surprise, and can please nearly all sugar lovers.
- Milk Duds: Similar to Hershey’s milk chocolate, these tasty dots are extremely chewy thanks to the caramel that resides inside. Their name originates from the creator failing to create perfectly round balls, therefore making them “duds.” Nevertheless, these satisfying failures bring great joy to the hearts of many, such as myself. It’s essentially just milk chocolate and caramel rolled into a bite-sized morsel.
- M&M’s: One of the more famous candies, M&M’s essentially wear the skin of Skittles but only consist of chocolate (or occasionally peanut butter or peanuts) on the inside. Despite their colorful shells, they’re always a singular flavor. While the taste is splendid and leaves people like me wishing they could consume entire bags of them, I can’t put them above Skittles.